It’s July in Englewood, which means the air is thick enough to chew and the weather app is quietly panicking about a “tropical disturbance.” The only logical response is to surrender to air-conditioning and the sweet illusion of control offered by cinema. This week, that means ducking into the theaters for some classic summer spectacle—or, if the thought of leaving your house feels hostile, curling up on the couch with a cold drink and Netflix.
On the menu? A freshly rebooted Superman, dinosaurs with boundary issues, and Adam Sandler picking up a golf club like it’s 1996 all over again.
1. Superman (2025): Hope, Muscles, and a Reboot That Works
DC finally remembered how to have fun. The new Superman soared in with a $122 million opening, introducing David Corenswet as Clark Kent, a wholesome Kryptonian snack with a jawline so sharp it might be a concealed weapon. The movie dials up the Americana, the swoony rooftop speeches, and that hopeful gleam we haven’t seen in a DC film since… ever?
It doesn’t reinvent the cape. But it doesn’t need to. It’s clean and charming, and lets Superman be the glowing symbol of goodness in a world full of irony and Marvel sarcasm.
4 out of 5 glowing Kryptonian crystals.
2. Jurassic World: Rebirth: Life Finds a Plotline
Also at the theaters is the latest dino disaster, Jurassic World: Rebirth. I say disaster lovingly, the way you might describe your friend’s third wedding. You know it’s going to be a mess, but you can’t just NOT go.
This one picks up ten years after the last film, in a world where dinosaurs roam free and insurance premiums have presumably skyrocketed. There’s a sleek new dino-hybrid (of course), a secret government cloning facility (again), and Bryce Dallas Howard still somehow sprinting in non-practical shoes (I checked – Chloé boots this time). Chris Pratt returns too, with the same concerned face he’s worn since Parks and Rec ended.
Plot? Something-something gene ethics, something-something dinosaur trafficking. But the real joy is watching a triceratops demolish a Range Rover while a child screams in IMAX. You don’t need nuance. You came for chaos. Also, theres a surprisingly poignant moment with a brachio-saurus, but I won’t spoil it.
3.5 out of 5 velociraptor side-eyes.
3. Happy Gilmore 2 (Netflix, July 25) — Golf. Rage. Streaming.
Coming soon to your living room, Sandler returns as the angriest man in sports, now entering one last tournament to pay for his daughter’s ballet school. Cue the yelling, the slapstick, and possibly a rogue gator or two. Shooter McGavin is back. PGA pros like Rory McIlroy and Scottie Scheffler pop up. Travis Kelce and Eminem are somehow involved. Netflix said “chaos,” and I respect that.
Will it be good? Maybe. Will I watch it at least twice on my couch with a Publix sub and a fan pointed at my face? Absolutely.
Star rating? TBD, but spiritually expecting 4 out of 5 flying putters.
Final Thoughts: Let the storms do their thing, the movie gods have given us options. We’ve got a freshly scrubbed Superman saving the world with jawline and moral clarity, genetically overqualified dinosaurs wrecking humanity’s plans yet again, and Adam Sandler returning to golf-club-based violence in a brand-new Happy Gilmore sequel—this time straight to streaming, for the homebody in all of us.
